Divination - Deluxe Geomancy Reading for 2019

1. This first figure in a geomancy reading refers to the self, and the attitudes the person is bringing to the table. In my case, I have Tristitia as this figure. Tristitia means “sorrow” in Latin and often is looked upon with trepidation. However, for me, this is an interesting figure, because Tristitia is I think my favorite of all the geomancy figures. Sorrow is a natural emotion that should not be hidden or avoided. It is the emotion that I believe teaches the most important lessons about wisdom, compassion and healing; and these are exactly the qualities fortune telling should provide. Additionally, the pictograph of Tristitia is like a stake, suggesting something to be driven in and rooted – much like a tent stake! Taking all this into account, I see Tristitia as a sign that Fairy Fortunes will continue to grow, not without challenges, but instead of finding my mistakes discouraging, it seems I am open to learning a great deal in 2019.

2. The first pointed geomancy shape is called the Shield Chart, and these readings are not read linearly. So, the second figure I normally read in the Shield chart is in a position that is given the name The Right Witness. This figure also relates to the self. Here, I have Fortuna Minor, or as I like to call her, The Fairy Princess. This is generally considered to be a good figure. It represents good fortune, but it is considered “minor,” usually because there isn’t an element of maturity. Without, self-analysis and constructive criticism, long-term gains cannot be maintained. The Fairy Princess also usually requires some outside help – she needs teachers, advisors, and her Queenly mother to help her. This is an interesting figure to see here. I’m not very good about asking for assistance, I think the appearance of this figure is reminding me that it is not a sign of weakness to seek out people with more seasoned knowledge. I also have been thinking of doing more collaborative videos on the Fairy Fortune YouTube channel, so I’m taking this as a sign that collaboration is a direction to pursue.

3. This position is called the Left Witness and relates to the question at hand, in this case, “What can I expect for Fairy Fortunes in 2019?” This figure is Via, which translates to “road” in Latin. I’ve been thinking that I would like to do more traveling and do more festivals in 2019. I’m seeing this as an omen that wish is very likely. Coupled with the first figure of Tristita, representative of a tent stake, I’m seeing that 2019 is very auspicious for this desire.

4. This figure is very important in the Shield Chart. The name of this position is called the Judge. When paired with the other figures and patterns, it can suggest a final summation of the question. This position generally concludes whether an outcome will be favorable, or unfavorable. In this case I have Fortuna Major, or as I call her, The Fairy Queen. There are only a few limited circumstances where the Fairy Queen is view as unfavorable, as this figure implies success and good luck. I also find it interesting that the Fairy Princess embarks on a path to become the Fairy Queen. I could interpret this to mean that I can expect Fairy Fortunes to do very well in 2019, but I will have to be willing to take risks, and be willing to accept some failures and heartaches (Tristitia’s message). If I am prepared to learn from my mistakes, and preserve, ultimately, I will enjoy great success.

5. Not all of the figures are necessarily read in the Shield Chart. After figure 4, I look for any reoccurring patterns. However, in my case, there aren’t any. That can be a good sign, as reoccurring patterns can reflect bad habits or trouble spots that need to be addressed. The lack of reoccurring patterns in my case may be a warning to keep things simple. I tend to over think things a great deal. Perhaps this reading is a message to acknowledge the face value of my circumstances when it comes to Fairy Fortunes.

That said, there is a near similar pattern that I think is worth looking at. Figure 5 is the Fairy Queen, coupled with Via in Figure 6, with the Fairy Princess in Figure 7. These three figures form what is called a Triplicity and this far left position represents people. Given my ferociously independent nature, I think this pattern conveys that I have a strong ideal for Fairy Fortunes. I know what I am trying to accomplish and my mission and purpose are not only clear, but worth pursuing. However, my weakness is my tendency to overthink things, and one thing I can obsess over more than anything is criticism. I’m seeing this pattern here as a warning. While collaborating with others and seeking advice from seasoned travelers will be to my benefit, I will have to take care that I ask for specific advice, but steer clear of people who want me to change my mission for Fairy Fortunes. Changing the mission, and the core elements would not be a step in the right direction, but instead, a regression.

Now I will move on to the square shaped casting – this is called the House Chart. It begins with Tristitia again in the House of Self. Tristitia appears again in the House of Money, and also in the House of Pleasure. Especially in a yearly casting, I believe that reoccurring figures suggest that there is a connection between these life areas. Tristita is not necessarily a bad figure for money, as it has the connotation of grounded-ness. However, it does not suggest that Fairy Fortunes will be making a ton of money. Tristitia suggests stability, but probably nothing to write to Forbes about.

I do think it’s interesting that Tristitia appears in the House of Pleasure. Because, when I first came up with the concept of Fairy Fortunes, it was less about Fortune, and more a way to express myself. It incorporated my love of performance, my singing ability and my intuitive gifts, all in one.

There is an additional curiosity In the House of Communication. When a figure repeats directly in neighboring Houses, such as Tristitia does in the House of Self and House of Money, this is called a “walking figure.” Trisititia then is “walking” to the Head of the Dragon in the House of Communication. This suggests that a great deal of Fairy Fortunes longevity and stability may be dependent on Communication. In the business world this would likely correlate to advertising. I will need to get creative on promotion for events, the YouTube Channel and the business in general it seems. The Head of the Dragon suggests that opportunities abound! So, I need to be open to many possibilities and perhaps be willing to consider events or opportunities I feel are a bit of a stretch, or outside my comfort zone.

Puella rests in the House of Home. I’m not surprised to see her here because if my business goals for 2019 come to fruition, I’ll be doing a lot more travelling in 2019, and Puella’s flighty nature is not a bad sign in this house.

Albus is the figure in House of Service. This I feel is also auspicious is that I believe that the service I provide as a fortune teller is being receptive to others – which is the nature of Albus.

The Fairy Queen appears in the House of Partnerships and again in the House of Friendship. My plan is to do more collaborative videos on the Fairy Fortune YouTube channel. It would seem that if I hound my personal friends to appear on the channel, those videos will be particularly successful and may have the added bonus of deepening those friendships causing them to thrive!

I love the shock value of the House of Death. There is nothing I love more than announcing the title of this house in a loud and melodramatic voice. That said, death, in the context of a geomancy House Chart refers to change. The reality I must face is that for something new to be born, something old must die. I really never much cared for travel before Fairy Fortunes, maybe Via’s appearance here (she means “road” in case you’ve forgotten) means I’m moving away from my need for my homebody lifestyle.

Now to continue with the travel theme with the House devoted to that topic. Populus is a bit unfocused. She definitely goes against my desire to plan every element of my daily life. I like routine. In fact, I get upset if something out of my control causes me to adjust my plans. It would seem that some events are going to be last minute and I’m going to have to adopt an uncharacteristic ability to go with the flow…or be upset…I’ll probably be upset.

The Fairy Princess appears in both the House of Career and House of Trouble. Hmm….telling…it is for this reason that I like to do both Shield Chart and House Chart in the Deluxe Geomancy reading. This coupling I think repeats the message of the triplicity in the position of people. Collaboration and asking for advice on specific subjects will be necessary in 2019, but I need to be wary if people want to change the core elements of Fairy Fortunes. I know I want to incorporate a music element to my readings, I know I want to keep my prices low, I know that I have strong fae characters representing my oracle deck - these are core elements to Fairy Fortunes and I must remain determined to keep them.

The center square is a reminder that I can expect success for 2019 if I am willing to seek help and advice along my journey when an issue comes up. But it is crucial to remember that the mission of Fairy Fortunes is sound, and those core elements that are important to me do not need to be changed, even if a well-meaning person suggests that they do.

Visit www.fairyfortunes.com for more information on geomancy and Fairy Fortunes.

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Money Magic Part 3 - Battling Budgets

I'm back with more on Money Magic.  If you missed Part 1 and Part 2, you may want to read those articles first.

A lot of young witches make the mistake of gathering up exotic ingredients for their spells. They burn some sage, cast a circle, and release their spell into the universe. Sadly, when their spell doesn’t work, they start giving up on magic. I learned that magic has little to do with eyes of poor little newts and everything to do with will. Will – as in – “What am I willing to do to make a change?” The universe, the Gods, the magic itself is very willing to help, but the person who has to do the actual work is most certainly the witch. When I found myself buried under a mountain of debt I knew I needed a very mundane action plan and probably some tools that were a little more associated with money beyond my magic wand.

When it comes to money, the first tool that many people think of are budgets. I had tried budgeting in the past. It hadn’t worked for me. Every month I broke the budget on multiple categories and not only did it put my bank account in the red, I felt like a total failure. My income was exactly the same every month, my expenses…rather, my Fundamental Needs, fluctuated. Not only did I not know how much gas was going to cost each week, it was hard to predict sometimes just how much I might need. 

Budgets, in my opinion, are a lot like diets. I had been on lots of diets. My parents had tried one that I can remember when I was a child. My one-time husband had tried many. Despite my athletic physique, I wasn’t given the option not to be on those diets. In each case, neither my parents nor my husband had lost a significant amount of weight. I, on the other hand, was left starving. These diet foods did not have enough calories to balance my physical life and the food tasted bad. The only thing diets dwindle in my experience is positive attitudes, not waistlines.

Diets work on the premise of deprivation. The theory is that if you remove certain foods from your life, and carefully calculate calories, you will lose weight. Budgets work from a similar position – you will only allow yourself to spend a certain dollar amount in set categories and when you reach that point, you will simply deprive yourself of anything more in that category. More often than not, deprivation just leads to frustration and then to hopelessness, hence the reason why most budgets and diets fails.

In my case, no matter how I much I tried, there was never enough in my paycheck to spread out to all of my expenses. Something always had to suffer. Well what was ultimately suffering was me – anxiety at the grocery store, sleepless nights, and a lot of tears. Getting a second job was out of the question. I had already gone over the advantages and disadvantages of getting a second job and the disadvantages heavily outweighed the advantages. There weren’t any expenses to be cut either. I hadn’t had a haircut in years, and I certainly wasn’t visiting Starbucks daily. I didn’t have expenses, I had Fundamental Needs I had to figure out how to pay for.

When my son brought home his homework assignment of his Fundamental Needs I couldn’t recycle it. I loved it so much that I actually still have it to this day.

My son's Fundamental Needs Chart

I had even made my own fundamental needs chart, although it was less exciting without all the colorful photographs of my son’s chart.

Fundamental Needs

Material Needs
Transportation	Defense	Shelter	Clothing	Food
Auto Fuel	Medical	Water Bill	Child Clothing	Groceries
Car Maintenance	Pet care	Mortgage	Personal Clothing	Dining out
I-pass and Tolls	Child care	Home Maintenance	Work Uniforms
Parking fees	Cell Phone	Electric
Alternate transportation	Internet	Gas
Registration	Insurance	Cleaning Supplies
	Gym Membership	Office Supplies

Spiritual Needs
Culture	Religion	Vanity
Outings	Debt repayment	Kid’s Activities
Vacation	Education	Costumes
Mementos	Fees	Gifts
	Taxes	Donations
		Makeup
		Personal Care

My chart did make me feel a bit better about spending money, but it wasn’t making magic happen. Some element from my own chart was missing. There was something magical about my son’s chart, so I compared them to see if I could figure out what it was (beyond those colorful pictures) that made my son’s chart special.

My son had chosen to place transportation first on his chart. That could have been completely random, but for a child of divorce living in two households, transportation is a pretty big deal. I could make the argument that transportation was probably the most significant event my son regularly dealt with.  I could understand that so clearly, and I appreciated why my son had arbitrarily chosen to place transportation first on his chart. I wondered what the other children in his class had put first on theirs. 

I knew what I would put first, I thought - Food.

It was food. That was what was most important to me. It was so important that I gave myself a panic attack at the grocery store every time I went. The question that haunted me at night was “How am I going to feed my child?” And for me, food was more than nourishment for the body. When I thought about the cakes I made with my son, that time being together was nourishment for the soul. Moreover, I attributed the health my son and I enjoyed to the food that we ate. I wasn’t succumbing to the lure of fast food on my crazy schedule and shoestring budget, I was actually cooking at home. It was so important to me I served “dinner” at lunchtime, so I got to prepare the biggest meal of the day and left the sandwich making to the babysitter when I went to work at night. Food was my most significant event.

But when I tried to budget my groceries, I always felt like a failure. Food prices, just like gasoline, fluctuated all the time. I couldn’t predict it accurately. However there was one glaring issue that I had never considered, I waited to go grocery shopping after I paid bills, usually leaving almost nothing (and sometimes actually nothing) to make food purchases. I couldn’t even be tempted by the seemingly low prices of fast food, there wasn’t anything in my account to pay even the clown.

But if food was so important to me - my personal most significant fundamental need - why on earth was it the last thing I bought with my limited income? It simply didn’t make sense to do that. My reality was simple: I had a very fixed income that wasn’t going to change and I had a number of expenses that fluctuated but were also unchangeable. Something else I had to face was that I had more expenses than I earned in income. This was my reality and there was little that I could do about it. But I was so tired of the panic attacks at the grocery store, they were exhausting and they wasted so much of my time.

So, I made a radical decision. I decided that before I paid a single bill, I would go grocery shopping first. When payday rolled around and there was money back in my account I would buy food. I would buy anything I thought I needed. If it was food and somebody was going to eat it, it was going to be purchased. And whatever the price on the sale receipt, I would pay it and I would simply stop freaking out about it. Because if I went shopping first, I would not be turned away for lack of funds. I also knew that food would be eaten. It wasn’t going to languish or rot in my refrigerator, I knew I was going to cook it, and feed healthy food to my child. I was absolutely sure of that. When it came to food at the grocery store, I knew with certainty, that I had nothing to feel guilty about.

Defense as a whole was the next category that was obviously important to me. I filed a number of things under defense that perhaps wasn’t an obvious fit to someone else. But this was not about what was obvious to other people, this was about what I needed. Both my son and I had chronic health conditions, I in particular, required daily medication. So, I decided that the first bill I would pay after going to the grocery store would be medical bills. I could do a payment plan to make them manageable. And as an added bonus, this was not necessarily a regular expense.

The health and well-being of my child was always at the forefront of my mind and that was largely the reason for the category of defense having a number of expenses listed there. The babysitter’s payment was what I decided I would pay next. She was my son’s caretaker and protector when I was unavailable to fill that role.

Next, was the mortgage. Having food was priority number 1 for me, protecting my child was obviously number 2, but if I didn’t have a place to keep and serve the food or to house the child and the babysitter, that would be problematic. I had two mortgages which did not make that an easy feat to tackle. I had to get a little creative here. What if I broke them up? What if I paid the smaller 20 percent mortgage early, at the end of the month? Then I could pay the larger 80 percent mortgage after payday on the first of the month. The mortgage company would hardly balk at getting their money early. Most of my smaller bills were due at the end of the month anyway, so I really only had to worry about groceries and the larger mortgage payment at the first of the month. That would make things a little bit easier. My anxiety lessened.

I took every expense I had and ranked it. Defense was very important to me, but the car insurance which was filed under defense would be useless if I didn’t have gasoline to power my transportation. Both my work uniforms and regular clothing were filed under clothing, but I wasn’t growing like my son was. In fact, I’ve been the same size my entire work career. I knew there would be times that an unavoidable tear might require me to make an emergency purchase, but as a general rule, clothing could take a backseat to other fundamental needs.

Culture was very important to me but as I was looking carefully at what I spent my money on I had to give myself some kudos here. I was pretty creative. I regularly searched the internet for fun (and free!) events happening in the city. My local library had passes for free entry to many museums for children and their caretakers too. I was always expanding my son’s world with culture (Not such a bad mom after all!).  So, I was able to push culture to a lower quarter of my financial priority list without feeling like I was depriving myself and my child.

That allowed me to address some other shelter needs; like the utilities. I decided that gas was more important than electrics. Gas powered my stove which tied it to the all-important food, but I decided that if the electric company cut me off, well, I’d use an ice chest and camping stove if I had to.

The Moment Magic Happened

It was at that moment – choosing to pay the gas bill before the electric bill – that the magic started to take root. Because, I had foreseen a possible consequence to my action, and I decided I was willing to live with it. It was at that moment that I stepped beyond the role of victim, and into the role of a survivor.

Being a victim, sometimes is inevitable. It isn’t karma, sometimes bad things happen to good people and there isn’t a reason or a purpose to it at all. It’s a happening, and it is tragic and terrible. Being a victim is nothing to be ashamed of. However, getting stuck in that role, as I had for nine years, is a terrible place to live. In fact, I believe I’ve already stated, it’s not living, it’s dying - every day  - for the rest of your life. For me, the difference between a victim and a survivor, is one simple thing: choice. A victim cannot choose. They are unfortunately at the mercy of their attacker and abuser and that is not their fault or their karma. A survivor though, gets to a place where they make choices and regain control of the path their life takes.

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Book Spotlight: Underworld by Chris Allaun

I am very fortunate to have been a student of Chris Allaun.  I was very pleased to see his magic come to fruition and be able to own an autographed copy of Underworld: Shamanism, Myth, Magic.

I do think that this book does requires some prerequisite work.  In order to get the most out of this work, you should have some working knowledge of some magical system - preferably with some kind of astral journeying work, and you should be familiar with the concepts of Underworld, Mid-world and Upper-world.  If you live in the Chicago Area, applying for private lessons with Chris Allaun would be the perfect supplement to this volume and his following books.  You can contact him through his Facebook page if you this is an option for you. 

If you have never explored the concept of ancestral work and the Underworld, I would suggest Walking the Twilight Path by Michelle Belanger as a starting point and then moving into the work of Chris Allaun. 

What drew me in:

1. One of my favorite things about this work is that it reads much like a memoir.  There are many descriptive narratives of the author's personal travels through the Underworld.  
2. I appreciate that he describes frightening beings that you can sometimes encounter in your Underworld journeys as "chaotic" rather than evil because things that make us afraid can be great teachers.  Good and evil are very subjective.  Hilter, for example, thought he was saving his country.
3. I really loved his commentary about myth and story.  Imagination is a gateway to personal gnosis and myth and story engage the imagination.

How I think I can apply this magically:

1. I mentioned that I was fortunate to be Chris Allaun's student.  I have used the techniques in his book to explore the Underworld and I had some interesting revelations there.
2. I am constantly trying to be the best person that I can be.  I thought this book very much resonated with my personal mission to "have courage to be who I could be."
3. I was fascinated by his descriptions of the Kabbalah and Qliphoth and is something I would like to explore more.

I would also like to announce that Chris Allaun will be making a guest appearance on my alter ego's YouTube channel in the very near future.  Please visit Fairy Fortunes by Ruby Ruse on YouTube, subscribe and hit the notification bell so you will notified of this interview release!

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I Have Cursed Someone. Maybe You Should Too.

Talking about magic is still a bit of a tricky subject in our world that is so driven by technology. It has, however, become perfectly acceptable to say (virtually, via technology) to a friend in stress, or ill health, “I’m sending positive energy your way!” There does seem to be a belief that this imagined energy can somehow help the friend despite no actual evidence. I’d argue that there is evidence, because most times, the friend appreciates these imaginary positive waves and they really do feel magically better. If only because they know that they are in people’s thoughts.  Negative energy or curses though…that can be a downright taboo subject, even for people who believe in magic, cast magic spells under the full moon, and call themselves witches.

An It Harm None vs. “Don’t Be A Jerk” 

I think part of the taboo comes from the pervasive Wiccan Rede: An It Harm None. This touches a cord in even the Non-Wiccan, magical practitioner. Talking about negative energy is frowned upon.

I get that avoiding harming people is a good general guideline to go by. I’m not Wiccan, however my son and I have our own version of the Rede. We say, “Don’t be a jerk.” To elaborate,  this means, don’t be jerk because you’re afraid of getting in trouble or because you are expecting something in return; but be helpful, be kind, because it is the right thing to do. That is how I try to live my life.

But sometimes no matter how helpful and kind I am, I find that some people are still jerks to me. Repeated interactions from the same jerks can be so demoralizing that I’ve lost myself in depression over it. I’ve known too many people who have committed suicide because of the jerks in their lives. I can appreciate their pain, because it feels hopeless. A jerk isn’t necessarily a criminal. You can’t take someone to court for emotional abuse. So, you just have to endure it - over and over again. Because the reality is, sometimes you can’t escape your jerk.

Let’s say you’re married to a jerk. He doesn’t hit you. He does, however, criticize your cooking. You could be a size 2 in clothing, and he will tell you that you are fat. He tells you that you’re lousy in bed. He compares you to every other woman he knows. Nothing you ever do is ever good enough, ever.

What are your options here? You could take a cooking class. You could hit the gym hard. You could read every single sexual help book you can find and watch a lot of porn. You could listen to the comparisons to other women, treat it like feedback – start dressing like his young coworker, dye your hair the same color as his boss, take up tennis like his sister…or you could get divorced.

In my case, I was served the divorce papers.

You would think that my suffering would have diminished, because my former husband made it expressly clear that he was leaving me; but it was only the beginning. The parenting agreement was refused because it didn’t have a motorcycle clause (for the record, I have never, nor will I ever, own a motorcycle. I don’t have any intention of ever riding on one, so why on earth would I place my toddler on one?). I asked for absolutely nothing, but the divorce dragged on in ugly battles for over a year.

He called me for every single little thing. It was driving me so crazy, I went to see a therapist. She suggested that I not answer, then listen to the voice mail, decide on a course of action, and then calmly respond – preferably by text. Except there were no voice mails. He would call me on my cellphone and if I didn’t answer, he immediately called the hardline phone. If I didn’t answer that he then would call my babysitter, demanding to know where I was, where our son was, and why I was such an irresponsible and stupid mother. Any engagement with him would end with him screaming at me two inches from my face.

But he never once hit me. And he never threatened to hit me. There was absolutely nothing to take to the courts. And he was, legally, a decent father. He was gainfully employed, he provided for his son, had a better family support system than I did, and he was under no circumstances a physical abuser. But more importantly, my son loved his father. He loved him, period. And I was hell bound and determined to make sure my son had a relationship with his father if that’s what my son wanted. Hell bound would be a pretty precise word for what I was going through to accomplish that though. It got so bad, I almost gave up on joint custody, and handed over my son. But my former husband didn’t want to be a full-time parent. And more importantly, my son loved me too, and he needed me just as much as his father…maybe more…

So, what could I do? I could not escape this jerk. There was no justice available to me. Well, for nearly nine years I did nothing. Well, not exactly nothing. I pleaded. I attempted to explain. I repeatedly promised to do better. I did a lot of crying. And I believed that I was a worthless person. I believed that I was such a terrible wife that I had been discarded and replaced. I believed that I was a terrible mother and my son may in fact be better off without me. And I lost a great deal of myself for nine years.

One day after a co-worker witnessed me take a phone call that he couldn’t help over hearing for all the shouting on the other end; he asked me, “Why do you let him do that to you?”

And I said, “I’ve endured it for nine years, I can take it for another nine.”

My co-worker did not respond, but the horror on his face truly shocked me. My world was not normal, and something needed to change. This was not living, it was dying, every day, for the rest of my life.

But there was no court of law that could help me. What could I do? I did the only thing I could, I wrote a curse. Instead of positive energy, I used all nine years of negative energy and I mixed in all of the trauma from the eight years of marriage, and I sent the whole bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, dark and foul brew to my former husband via virtual express. For the record, no newts lost any eyes in the making of this curse. I did, however, know exactly what I was doing. There was nothing kind or helpful about that energy. Imaginary or not, it was absolutely harmful. I had very personal experience with precisely how harmful that energy was.

Garbage In, Garbage Out 

I think another part to the taboo concerning curses is that in magic, it is believed that what comes around goes around. Or in technology terminology: garbage in, garbage out. People often don’t need to be cursed with magic by someone else, because they generally do such a fine job of cursing themselves. If you’re a jerk, the people around you will eventually figure that out, and they will handle you accordingly. Or, much more dastardly still, if you are a jerk, there will always be a part of you that assumes everyone is a jerk – someone who wants to harm others, and only doesn’t because they might get in trouble. What a truly terrible life to live. It is terrible yes, but a jerk, in my experience, is not very likely to suddenly see the light and stop being a jerk.

“Don’t be a jerk,” for me just sums up things so much more succinctly than “An it harm none.” Because the reality is, we can cause a lot of harm with our most helpful and kind intentions. “An it harm none,” does not leave much room for self-defense either. “Don’t be a jerk,” implies that if someone hits you, you don't sit there and patiently let them hit you again, you hit them back and harder.

When I read Charles Godfrey Leland’s Aradia or The Gospel of Witches, I got the impression that Mr. Leland believed that witches were people without legal status or real power and that their witchcraft was a way for them to believe they had some control (without affecting any real change in the balance of power). I would agree that magic, and especially curses, can come from the person who is suffering an egregious imbalance of control and power. Magic may be imaginary, but I would argue that one can experience very tangible results.

The Role of “The Victim” 

When I finally launched my curse, one of the results I experienced was that I stopped being “the victim.” That is a very real change in the position of power. A victim is trapped in a state of helplessness, always waiting for someone to save her. There is no hope for the victim, because a victim’s only option is nothing. Do nothing. My curse was something. I was giving myself another option over helplessness. Imaginary or not, that new found status and balance correction did wonders for my mental health.

However, there are a few things, even my very adept therapist found a bit hard to explain. After I held my ritual to unleash my curse, the phone calls from my son’s father stopped. They just stopped out of the blue. Now, if he has a question, he sends me a short text. He calls occasionally but his tone is calm and respectful. My son’s step-mother invited me to share their Christmas Eve dinner with them last year. I accepted and it was actually quite pleasant. My son continues to enjoy his relationship with his father and he is happy, thriving and well-adjusted.

Something else quite miraculous happened too. I started thriving as well. I started singing, and writing, and laughing…I hadn’t done any of that in nine years. Part of my curse was that my former husband would not get what he wanted most; but he has a lovely condo, a charming wife, a very cute new baby, and he’s still gainfully employed and doing well. And I'm glad about that, because my son is happy and I really kind of like my son's step-mom.  It dawned on me though, that maybe what my ex-husband wanted most, was to be a jerk to me and for me to suffer for it. That, I think is, much scarier than me using a curse.

Beyond short briefings before parent-teacher conferences, I don’t think about my former husband much anymore. Truth be told, I wish I had cursed him sooner, we all would have been better for it.

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Weekly Divination - 1 Fairy Card - Acquisitio the Alicanto

A show is Acquisitio 

A gluttonous Alicanto 

The more she procures 

The less she endures 

The weight of her fate in escrow. 

Are you thinking of making a major purchase? Perhaps buying a home? Acquisitio the Alicanto says get off the fence and go for it!

It can be difficult to take a risk and make a big investment, and not even the fairies can say if it will make you rich in the end. However, if you have done your research, it's time to trust your gut and put your plan into action. If you haven't done any research, well then it's time to use your favorite search engine to find some real estate agents.

The only thing that is guaranteed is that if you continue with your inaction is nothing. You will risk nothing, and lose nothing; but you will gain nothing.

If you enjoyed this post you may like some of my other divinations:

1 Fairy Card - Rubeus the Redcap
Divination with Runes - Uruz
Divination is Art

If you would like more information about these Fairy Cards, visit www.fairyfortune.com.

Magical Moment - Hello Sister!

From left to right:  My son, me, MY SISTER! and my brother

While one of my three brothers and I are fairly close, we just don't call one another.  We have a hang up about using the phone...it's a thing.  So when he called me out of the blue one morning I answered in a rushed panic, "Who died?"

"Well," he said, "nobody died...somebody was born...in 1952."

My brother then began to explain that he had taken an Ancestry.com DNA test.  It was mostly for fun, because he already knew a great deal about his genetic profile.  In addition to our large family stretching over multiple generations, I have done some extensive research on our family linking us directly to Captain Myles Standish of the Mayflower.  There is also a book written about the Peck branch of our family which can be purchased on Amazon.com.  So when my brother released his DNA for research and gave his consent to be linked to relatives, he was fairly certain he would know everyone he connected to, even the 3rd and 4th cousins.  And he did know the connections for the most part...

Except...a woman in Hawaii had also released her DNA for research and she had given her consent to be linked to relatives.  She certainly wasn't a 3rd or 4th cousin, no, she shared more DNA with my brother than our niece (she'd taken an Ancestry DNA test too).  What did this mean?

I consulted my research on Ancestry.com which has linked census records and military records.  There were two men on my mother's side.  Census records placed her father in Missouri and her brother in Michigan in 1951. 

There were five men on my father's side.  Poor farmers from Iowa did not generally fly off to Hawaii in the 50's not to mention that the Korean War would have made travel even more challenging.  I could easily account for 4 of those five men - they were of course in Iowa.  In addition to census records though, I had access to military records.  My brother and I knew that our father had served in the Navy during the Korean War.  I even had the name of his ship PC-1172 (it wasn't given a "name" until after the Korean War).  Well, it just so happened PC-1172 spent a great deal of time in Hawaii in 1951.

What did this mean?  That much of a DNA match might mean niece, but the lovely lady in Hawaii was older than my brother and I.  That much of a DNA match might mean Aunt but the two grandfather's were accounted for.  That could only leave one possibility, our Korean War veteran father must also be her father.  I stalked her Facebook page and one click was all it took for me to see the resemblance.   If you look at the picture above you will see matching jaw lines, identical noses and similar eyes.  There can be no denying that we are all significantly related.  Even strangers who encountered us as we gallivanted around Las Vegas this September were sure we were family.   They had no idea that we had just met!  We felt an instant connection.  We just all clicked, like little cogs on a mystical machine falling into place. 

One memorable highlight from our interaction was that I admitted that I don't really answer to my name of Amy Alice because my brothers and my parents always called me "Sister."  What a coincidence to discover that her brothers in Hawaii also called her "Sister" and she doesn't really answer to her given name either!

And she doesn't like talking on the phone...so random...

DNA is science but what stops it from being magical?  Especially when it offers the chance to give you the gift of a sister?  It's a rhetorical question of course, but if you must have the answer, then it is nothing.  Nothing stops science from being magical.  Magic is simply those unseen connections that simply exist whether or not we know they are there.  Sounds a lot like the science of DNA to me.

_______________________________

Have you had a DNA Magical Moment?  I hope you will share your experience in the comments.

Weekly Divination - 1 Fairy Card - Rubeus the Redcap

When Rubeus Redcap appears,

He'll force you to face darkest fears.

There's danger ahead

But go forth in dread.

Or live your regret in arrears.

Many people make the mistake of asking me if I'm white witch. In my opinion, magic does not have a color; it simply is.  And it can be used to be helpful or harmful in equal measure.  Many people want to believe healing magic can only be "good" but it is nothing short of rape if this "healing" is done without permission.

This concept of magic being neither good nor bad is largely why I felt moved to create a divination system that incorporated the energy of the fae (to learn more about my system visit www.fairyfortunes.com).  The fae are spirits of pure magic and likewise, they are neither white nor black, good nor evil, seelie or unseelie.  Court structures are human facades that are not recognized in the realm of the fae. Magic, and the fae simply are. They are helpful when they feel inspired to be helpful and they are vengeful when they feel moved to be so.

Are the fae evil?

Are you?

I'm sure that we have all done things that we regret later when the wisdom of hindsight gives us time to reflect. Sometimes we regret what we have done. Yet humans especially often regret what we did not do. In my lifetime I am more apt to regret those times where I tempered my vengeance. Would that my make me evil in your judgement? 

The message of Rubeus Redcap is that each of us must act in accordance with what we feel is right in the moment. If you feel you have made an error later, then diligently make amends in that moment of discovery.  Action is what is important - action in the moment.  But be careful that you don't mistake action for a judgment.  No human I've met cares for judgments, the fae I'm sure would find a mortal's judgment simply laughable.  Rubeus the Redcap would probably warn you to dole your judgments out sparingly.

If you like this post you may enjoy some of my other divinations:

Divination with Runes - Uruz

Divination is Art

Weekly Divination - 1 Fairy Card - Amissio the Alfar

Magical Moment - Dance of the Trees

The leaves are starting to turn.  I think that's my favorite part of fall.

When my son was little, I made up our own little myth about why the leaves change color in the fall.

Dance of the Trees

Before the trees take their winter rest 

They get dressed in their very best 

With a curtsy to the wind they take this chance 

To dance 

Down the street, across the lawn 

They dance until their leaves are gone 

Leaving us to rake their messes 

The traces of their lovely dresses 

The apple dons a cheerful yellow 

With pleasing fruit she flirts with fellows 

She’s as light as a sprite 

Her dance a delight 

But beware 

Do take care 

She might have a sour bite 

Sassafras prefers hers pink 

She’ll turn your head with a sassy wink 

Her steps are sharp and precise 

Her twirls will entice 

There she goes 

Tickling your nose 

But it’s so nice your let her do it twice 

Before the trees take their winter rest 

They get dressed in their very best 

With a curtsy to the wind they take this chance 

To dance 

Down the street, across the lawn 

They dance until their leaves are gone 

Leaving us to rake their messes 

The traces of their lovely dresses 

Maple’s choice, a pretty coral 

She claims her space with her ample laurel 

She a sight to be seen 

With her lovely careen 

I believe She’ll be the last to leave 

Not keen to convene the scene 

The Oak’s gown, a majestic scarlet 

She’s the most adored, a regal starlet 

She’s the belle of the ball 

The Queen of them all 

Let her dreams be sweet 

When the dance completes

She'll enthrall us all next fall

Before the trees take their winter rest 

They get dressed in their very best 

With a curtsy to the wind they take this chance 

To dance Down the street, across the lawn 

They dance until their leaves are gone 

Leaving us to rake their messes 

The traces of their lovely dresses

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy

A Song for Beltaine - Music in the Meadow

Magical Moment - The Goddess of Agriculture and Industry

Magical Moment - Crowley Cat

Divination with Runes - Uruz

While Geomancy is my preferred method of divination, I still am quite drawn to the Scandinavian Runes.   They really resonate with me because I feel like they connect me to my heritage.

I'm starting a new position at my day job, so I was curious to see if the energy associated with my ancestors had any images of wisdom to impart to me.  I did a one rune draw and was presented with Uruz. 

I allowed myself to meditate on this symbol.  The first thing that came to mind was the weights I use on my canopy when I attend events for my other business outside of my day job.  In my meditation I was transported back to Fort Wayne, Indiana just a few weeks ago from this post when I used these weights for the first time.  It was raining and the winds were strong, but the weights on my canopy made everything so stable.  I remember feeling really secure with those weights on my tent.  I was so proud of myself for purchasing them.  Uruz is associated with strength, and to me stability is a quality associated with strength.

As I was meditating my son was chatting with me from his room.  I noted that I did not have to completely abandon what I was trying to do to address his question. 

In a similar vein of distraction, Crowley Cat touched my arm.  Without opening my eyes I knew it was her, and not one of my other cats.  I observed the gentleness of her touch and the calming affect it had on me.  It occurred to me that the rune symbol of Uruz is associated with the once powerful wild oxen - the aurochs.  In my meditation it occurred to me that wildness does not have to be violent, it can also be gentle.

I did drift off topic and my thoughts started running on a divination class that I want to write and teach.  But when I redirected my focus back to Uruz, I felt like the message it was trying to convey to me concerning this new position I'm going into at work, was tied to redirection and regaining focus.  I need to remember not to abandon what I'm working towards.  I need to remember not to give up just because things get chaotic.  I also think Uruz was suggesting that I will be able to bring some stability to this position at my work.  I may be a gentle and calming element.

I have been rather anxious about this change at work.  But this divination helped me see some possibilities and gives me some hope.  That is precisely why I love the practice of divination. 

If you like this post you may enjoy some of my other divinations:

Divination is Art

Weekly Divination - August 27, 2018

Weekly Divination - August 13, 2018

Deluxe Geomancy Reading

Book Spotlight - Psychic Protection by Ted Andrews

I have read other books on the topic of psychic defense, but Ted Andrews' work, in my opinion is one of the very best.

What Drew Me In

1. Ted Andrews has the intention of making the spiritual pragmatic and more importantly obtainable.  He doesn't cloud everything in secrecy.  He wants you to clearly understand how the psychic works.
2. Instead of mystically ruminating about the reader's gifts being tested, he instead offers that it is the student who should test their teachers.  He points out that a true teacher will not be offended, because a true teacher understands the need for confirmation and validation.
3. Exercises like the Cleansing Fire Vortex were laid out in an easy step by step process.

How I Think I Can Apply This Magically

1. The Cleansing Fire Vortex has become one of my favorite meditation practices.
2. Sheltering my own energy was something I took for granted.  This book helped me be more aware of how the people I associate with and my environment affect me.
3. This book suggested that psychic and magical abilities are skills that can be improved and practiced.

If you liked this post you may also enjoy some of my other Book Spotlights

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

The Art and Practice of Geomancy by John Michael Greer

Your Money Or Your Life by Vicki Robin

Are you on GoodReads?  Let's be friends!

Financial Fiasco + Fundamental Needs = Money Magic Part 2

I am finally able to continue my story about my journey from financial ruin towards a money magic.  If you missed Part 1, you can read it here.

The Great and Powerful Witch

I am very flattered by my friends and others in the magical community. I am often told that I am a powerful witch. My spells do work, and largely the way I intended. The only unexpected results from my spells usually are added bonuses that continue to pay forward after the spell has come to fruition. I know, because I track the results. I meticulously track the results; and I would attribute my magical success largely to my particular attention to the tiniest of details.

I keep a detailed grimore, but unlike the witches of old, my grimore is digital. My spells are all written in Microsoft Word. And my spell template (yes, I have a spell template) is four pages long. Once I complete writing a spell, it can easily be over six pages and will continue to grow as I track its progress. It usually takes me more than one day to compose a spell before I cast it and it is not unusual for me to spend a week designing. It is a lot of work, but if I am the powerful witch that my friends proport me to be, it is probably due to my meticulous planning.

Learning from Magical Mayhem

Of course, I have had spell malfunctions and failures. They are great learning tools which in turn helped me fine tune my spell template to consider as many probabilities as possible. One of my most malignant magical mayhems I dealt with was another money spell. So, I wanted to make sure that this spell with the Fundamental Needs did not go as haywire as that one did. That meant that I would have to do some serious research into my personal habits before I even so much as looked at a wand or cauldron.

The first thing I did was open up my bill spreadsheet (yes, I have a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet where I list my current bills – I’m noticing a distinctly anal-retentive theme here). If I truly didn’t have expenses to be cut, but Fundamental Needs I had to figure out how to pay for; then it was time to figure out what Fundamental Need I was buying with each of my bills.

My son's Fundamental Needs chart from his Montessori Education

Under the first half of the month I had listed my two mortgages, my car insurance, the babysitter, a few of my credit cards, my loan from my mother, and the electric bill. Under the second half of the month I had listed my internet provider, the gas company, more credit cards, and my cell phone.

Shelter

The mortgages were an easy fit – shelter, of course. After thinking a few moments, it was easy to place the electric bill and gas under shelter too as they both provided power to keep my son and me warm and dry. This is pretty easy! I thought, and I merrily continued down the bill spreadsheet.

Defense

Next was the car insurance and because it had the word “car” in front of it, I started to list the insurance under transportation. But then I stopped. Insurance really had nothing to do with getting somewhere. I wasn’t purchasing transportation with that, so what was I actually buying? I decided that I was buying peace of mind. If I was in an accident, financially, I’d be okay. With that in mind I placed my car insurance under the heading of defense. It dawned on me that my internet access was less about entertainment, and also more about defense. I paid my bills online, communicated with my babysitter service through the internet, and it was my lifeline to information. That spiraled my thought process. My babysitter was also defense, because she protected and cared for my child when I was unable to do so. And my cell phone was my connection to her and my child when I was not with them; that meant the cell phone bill was also purchasing defense.

Religion

That left the loan from my mother and all of my credit cards. What the heck were those? What was I buying when I paid those bills? Were they actually needs? Well, I couldn’t stop paying them, that was going to add to my financial problems. I decided that if I needed to pay them, then they had to some kind of need and not an expense I could just cut from my expenditures. I remembered when I had gone to see a financial counselor at my credit union. I felt utterly hopeless when she told me to declare bankruptcy. I felt like she just wanted me to give up. I didn’t want to give up. I had already bought things with that money, I felt it was morally my responsibility to pay back my debts. Morality sounded an awful lot like to Religion to me, so I put my loans in that category.

Considering the Fundamental Needs

As I was looking at my actual bills they seemed so small. My monthly bills – those checks I sent out every month only covered shelter, defense, and religion. I realized that there were quite a number of things not on my bill spreadsheet. The water bill was irregular and medical bills were too, hence they were missing from my monthly spreadsheet. The gas I purchased for transportation, clothes I needed to buy, and the groceries that caused my anxiety to soar like no other expenditure, were not on my bill spreadsheet. And what about culture and vanity? I decided that if they were Fundamental Needs, they could not be ignored or cut out of my life.

I went back to the fundamental needs. Using my son’s homework assignment as a template, I created my own chart. Gasoline obviously fell under transportation. Were there other expenses that fell under this category? How about car maintenance (also not on the bill spreadsheet)? What else belonged under defense? After thinking about it I decided that Medical bills belonged under defense. I was protecting my son’s and my body with routine checkups and was healing illnesses with medication. Likewise, pet care fell here too. I had cats, and I was responsible for these creatures’ well-being. 

Shelter was pretty straightforward, but I added the utilities and then after some consideration, I added cleaning supplies and office supplies. Yes, those were things I usually bought at the grocery store, but they weren’t food. I often tried to sacrifice them, but I couldn’t. I needed stamps to mail bills, and pens to write checks and I certainly wasn’t going to live in a filthy house.

Vanity

I made a change from my son’s chart when it came to clothing. I made the decision to file the expenditures for the costumes I made under Vanity. This was because I was very proud of those one-of-a-kind costumes and the process of making them brought a lot of joy into my life which was otherwise full of financial anxiety. I also filed under Vanity the gifts I gave to my son and other people in my life. When I did that, placing the charitable donations I tried to make into the category of Vanity made sense too. It went back to that day I watched my son attach that picture of his chess trophy to his Fundamental Needs homework assignment and then watching him proudly carry the project into school. For me, selecting gifts for people I cared about and giving to those less fortunate than myself had that element of passionate effort that I had so admired when I watched my son with his project. This led to a bit of an epiphany of compassion. Because when I added makeup and personal care to the category of Vanity I realized that getting my haircut and making the occasional purchase of a tube of mascara was not something to berate myself for or to be ashamed of. The giving of gifts, even to oneself, was not a frivolous want, it was a part of being human.

Material Needs
Transportation	Defense	Shelter	Clothing	Food
Auto Fuel	Medical	Water Bill	Child Clothing	Groceries
Car Maintenance	Pet care	Mortgage	Personal Clothing	Dining out
I-pass and Tolls	Child care	Home Maintenance	Work Uniforms
Parking fees	Cell Phone	Electric
Alternate transportation	Internet	Gas
Registration	Insurance	Cleaning Supplies
	Gym Membership	Office Supplies

Spiritual Needs
Culture	Religion	Vanity
Outings	Debt repayment	Kid’s Activities
Vacation	Education	Costumes
Mementos	Fees	Gifts
	Taxes	Donations
		Makeup
		Personal Care

This was a start.  This was certainly some much needed perspective on my financial situation.  But this wasn't quite magic, not yet.  I will be back with the magic in another article.

If you like this post, you may also enjoy:

Financial Fiasco + Fundamental Needs = Money Magic Part 1

It Is Easier To Get What You Want Than To Know What You Want